Gratitude and Match Day

WARNING: Long-winded explanation of a short story.

I am a firm believer that God puts people in our path for a reason. Over the course of the past couple of years, He has REALLY been stacking our path with people who have lifted us up and given us hope during our hardest times. One of our favorites (whom we’ve never actually met in person yet) is Adam. Before I get into why Adam is so special to us I’ll give you a little background.

Almost 10 years ago my cousin Max started dating his now fiancé, Emma. She immediately fit into our family with her bubbly upbeat personality. A beacon of light, it’s no surprise that she attracts the same types of friends. One friend/college roommate in particular played a huge role in connecting us with Adam. The friend, better known as Quinn, is one of the most cheerful outgoing people around. On more than one occasion, Emma and Quinn were talking about our kids; more specifically Connor and his diagnosis/treatment at the time. Emma shared with Quinn that Connor had to start getting infusions every 4 weeks and was having an extremely difficult time. The always selfless Quinn shared that her fiancé Jake had a roommate in medical school that was diagnosed with the same disease as Connor around the same age that Connor received his diagnosis, and she thought it would be a great idea to connect us to – you guessed it – Adam!

Connecting via zoom, Jason, Connor, and I quickly learned that there were a lot of similarities between Adam’s experiences and those of Connor. After giving us some background about his struggles and successes throughout the years, he built a connection with Connor; one that remains in place today. At that time we were struggling to find a treatment that would work for Connor. He was growing increasingly frustrated with our frequent trips to the GI outpatient suite for infusions. Placing his IVs that never seemed to want to go in until at least the 3^rd or 4^th try were more like wrestling an alligator than a medical task, and the heartbreak that I felt with every tear of his that fell is something that still haunts me. Jason and I felt like this was a bad dream that we would never wake up from. Thankfully, with the help of divine intervention, Adam came into our lives and changed the trajectory of Connor’s thought process.

In 2020 Adam published a children’s book titled Up and Adam: A Patient’s Experience on Winning with IBD. Well written with relatable language and illustrations, Connor refers to it often when going through a particularly hard time. However, the two things we are most grateful for are Adam’s time and knowledge. Adam is a 4^th year medical student and found out yesterday, on “Match Day”, that he will be continuing his general surgery residency having matched with one of his choice hospitals. Despite the grueling schedule of a medical student, he always finds time to reach out via text to check in on Connor, to FaceTime and talk about how things have been or what new and exciting things are going on in life, and to continue to offer support to our family as we navigate the unpredictable waters of this disease.

Connor has gone from a kid looking like he was gearing up for an MMA fight during blood draws and IV placements to one who focuses on his breathing because “Adam says that works best”. One who would hide and avoid communicating with nurses and doctors to one who is comfortable expressing his thoughts and feelings because he gets to share those with someone who can relate to it with first hand knowledge. Likewise, Jason and I have gone from parents who live in a constant suffocating fear worrying about our son’s future to ones who can appreciate the now and take each setback in stride. All of this is possible because we have an IBD warrior in our corner who consistently shows up, not just for us but for other families going through the same thing, and reminds us that it’ll be ok.

The excitement of Match Day got me thinking about life’s matches and how the connections that we make truly shape who we are and how we handle situations. Our family will forever be grateful for the match that we made with Adam. His new hospital/patients are the luckiest, because they’re getting one of the most compassionate doctors on their staff who will stop at nothing to better the outcomes and lives of patients living with IBD.

So thank you Max for bringing us Emma, and Emma for connecting us with Quinn and Jake, and Quinn and Jake for helping us establish a friendship with Adam whose presence in our lives, especially Connor’s, have had an immeasurable positive impact. We are forever grateful for each and every one of you!