Every summer Jason and I take the kids to the beach with my Dad’s entire side of the family. It is easily one of our favorite weeks of the year. Most would think that having close to 30 family members in the same location for an extended period would be a disaster, but for us it is just a whole lot of beach time, game nights, shenanigans, and laughs.
I was very nervous in the days leading up to this year’s trip because last year’s trip was when Connor’s health began to decline. He did not enjoy himself and spent much of the week curled up in a ball on my lap. Last week we headed to Diamond Beach, NJ for the week with our family and had the BEST time. Sweet baby Con Con was like a completely new kid – running into the ocean, building sandcastles with his sister, brothers, and cousins, eating lots of pizza and chicken tenders, and providing us with endless one-liners and laughs. The entire drive home I couldn’t stop looking at pictures from the week and thinking about how truly grateful I was to have had that special time with our family.
Sunday started like any other day – unpacking, laundry, and cleaning the house. We were going to a RailRiders game that afternoon to celebrate my nephew’s birthday. At that game, I received a call that flipped our world upside down. Uncle Pat (my Dad’s brother-in-law) was rushed to the hospital and wasn’t going to make it. I was devastated as was the rest of our family.
My Uncle Pat was a special person. In my 39 years of life, I can honestly say that I don’t think I ever saw him mad or upset. Even when life threw him some challenging times, he always had a positive outlook. He was a calming presence for all of us and made everyone he met feel as if he had known them forever. He was hardworking, kind, funny, and a true family man. He and my Aunt Anne had a very special relationship and were rarely seen apart. Together they raised 3 of my favorite people – my cousins Pat, Tracey, and Michael. Watching the four of them navigate through the tremendous loss this week has only strengthened my appreciation for each of them. Being at Tracey’s house with my family is one of my favorite places to be, but this week, there is a huge void. I keep waiting for my Uncle Pat to walk through the door and give me one of his big hugs, tell me how much he loves me – “his favorite niece” (that was our little joke because I’m his only niece) – and get down on the floor to play with my kids. I find comfort in seeing just how many lives he touched. From friends, neighbors, and acquaintances stopping by to offer condolences and share stories, to the workers at the pharmacy sharing how much they’ll miss him – it could not be more apparent that my Uncle Pat was loved and appreciated not only by his family, but by his community too.
Life has a funny way of building you up only to knock you down. The range of emotions that I have felt over the past week and a half have been on opposite ends of the spectrum – the excitement and happiness of a weeklong vacation with the best family, to the devastating loss of one of the greatest men to ever walk this earth have been extremely difficult to navigate through. I know that together we will learn to live with the grief, because life goes on, but there will never be a day that goes by that I don’t think about my sweet uncle and wish that he was still here with us. Our “Ga” left behind one hell of a legacy, and all of his best qualities will live on in his grandkids. Johnny, Connor, Max, Lydia, Breck, Nadia, and Liam were his pride and joy.
I hope this blog entry serves as a gentle reminder to enjoy each and every day you are given. Find some a small piece of joy even on the bad days, because we truly never know when our time will be up.
To my Uncle Pat – thank you for teaching me what unconditional love is, for loving me as if I was your own, and for being such a bright light in our family. Your loss is heartbreaking to all of us, but we will honor you and reflect on the millions of memories that you left us with forever. I love you!
Comments
Post a Comment