Nostalgia

 Every year since 2017, as December 11^th nears, I can’t help but think back to the series of events that led to Jason and me adding a bonus baby to our crew. Some of you know this story as well as we do, but for all of our new friends out there, here’s a little background.

Jason and I completed (or so we thought) our family in June 2016. After living in Dunmore, PA for 7 years, we packed up the 3 kids and the dog, sold our cute little starter house, and moved in with his parents while we searched for our forever home. Two months into our stay with Grammie and Papa Randog I realized something was off. At first we believed I had an ectopic pregnancy. A trip to the emergency room one Sunday morning, and a week filled with multiple rounds of bloodwork and doctor’s appointments instead confirmed that even though I had my tubes tied, I was pregnant with our fourth child.

From the immediate two pink lines, to the vivid memories of those first trips to the hospital and doctor’s office, to the most challenging pregnancy that I had – the shock, tears, exhaustion, nervousness, and excitement that led us to the sweetest baby boy – it all feels like yesterday, but tomorrow our little miracle baby turns 6 years old.

I like to joke around that Connor has been giving us heart failure since conception. There is a lot of truth to that statement though. Never in a million years did I think that we could have another baby after I had my tubes tied. There was less than a 1% chance. After Connor was born, I was able to see him for a total of maybe five minutes before he was whisked away to the NICU where he spent the first 7 days of his little life. My complicated pregnancy coupled with fluid in his lungs meant that he needed a little extra help to get acclimated with life on the outside.

Our first three years of life with him were relatively mild except for a few bumps and bruises compliments of typical toddler boy life. In May 2021 that all changed. Most of you know the story from that point on.

The heart failure continues daily thanks to Connor and his siblings, but throughout all of the ups and downs/hard times, I can’t help but reflect on how blessed we are. We were given four of the most precious gifts who bring happiness (and gray hair) to our lives daily. Despite Connor’s challenging disease, he still thrives. He loves his family, school, and friends and is the most polite little kid around. He gives the best hugs and his smile lights up every room he walks into. As a family we have had the opportunity to connect with so many people through the foundation. Additionally, Jason and I are able to teach our kids the importance and value of helping others whenever you can.

Our life is far from perfect. We go through highs and lows just like everyone else, but at the end of the day, the most important thing to us is that we are always there for each other. Our kids know that they’ll never have to walk the hard paths alone.

Tomorrow as I watch my baby turn six, (and in 2 months my first baby 12), I will most definitely shed some tears, because time is the worst thief of all. I will also laugh and smile at the memories. Most importantly, I will be grateful for everything we’ve been through that led us to where we are right now -- surviving not thriving most days, but we are doing it together!